Proverbs 17:9.
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”

I was REALLY mad at my best friend. So mad that I did not talk to her for two weeks. Now you have to understand that she and I talk pretty much every day, like two married people! So the fact that we were not talking, after 14.5 years of being Soul Sisters, well........ it was a BIG deal.

The code of silence started when I was hurt by something she "did." I was brewing inside and making her wrong...... really wrong. I had NO intention of picking up the phone and calling her and I could not believe that she was not picking up the phone to call me and apologize for what she had done!!

So as I said, I thought of all of the reasons she was wrong and how it was her fault that our relationship was in disarray.....until I received some "loving" coaching from an acquaintance of mine. This acquaintance suggested that I consider that I was responsible for the relationship being in the state it was. WHAT? ME responsible??? But what about what she did???? (my self-righteous soapbox).

This acquaintance also suggested that I consider calling my friend and telling her that I was being a jerk, that I was withholding my love from her because I was hurt. Ouch. She was right. I was withholding my love from my friend. In my mind she had hurt me and I was expecting an apology.

Well the long and short of it is that I did call my friend, confessed I was being a jerk and apologized for the way I had been withholding. That opened the door for us both to share, and ultimately admit how not talking for two weeks was the pits! We each asked for and extended forgiveness to one another and now our relationship is even sweeter than before. It reminds me of Proverbs 17:9:

Proverbs 17:9.
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”


This proverb refers to what happens when we choose to dwell on a past offense rather than forgiving the person who offended us and seeking to love him or her. Lack of forgiveness “separates close friends.”

Have you ever been hurt by someone and your inclination was to hold onto the offense?

Maybe you have even gone so far as “repeating the matter,” telling other friends in your circle about how the person wronged or offended you.

When we do not seek forgiveness and instead gossip to others, holding onto the ill feelings of others in our own hearts, we cause division and separation. As followers of Christ, God has called us to a higher standard, to seek to love.


Reflection and Application

Think of a person in your life that has in some way hurt or offended you. Are you willing to be obedient to God’s word and “cover the offense,” forgive them?


If you do not forgive them, what is at stake?


What will it require you to “lay down” as you seek to love and forgive? (i.e. pride, wanting to be right, revenge?)


What is your first step in seeking to love this person?



Spend a few minutes in quiet prayer with Jesus and invite Him to work in your heart as you seek to actively love those who "offend" you.